Finally found a friend

This just happened last weekend. I responded to a man on DL who said he was a top. I told him I wanted to meet a man who would like to have a discrete sexual friendship with another man. I told him I just wanted to visit occasionally and after some flirtatious chat before I left I would go down on him and get him to feed me his sticky cum. He didn't have to worry about me cumming or anything. I just wanted to enjoy the erotic excitement of meeting secretly with a man and be openly sexual with him. Both of us knowing why I'm there. I told him in our txts that even though I've always been versatile, since the first time I tasted a guy's cock I've always been the first one to get to my knees ready and eager to feel and taste it. I let him know that I'd responded because he said he was an oral top and even though I'd struggled with my secret for years at some point I finally realized and accepted that a part of me was turned on being a cock hungry slut. He came across as very aggressive which scared me some and I told him a number of times that I wasn't into pain or being abused. He backed off a bit but his txts let me know if we met I was his faggot cock slut. I finally was horny enough for cock that he gave me his address and I was there in a half hour. I was nervous but as soon as his door shut I was opening his zipper and as we greeted each other I'd slid my hands down under his clothes and as I gripped and slid one hand over his ass cheek I grasped his soft shaft. We chatted about nothing as I squeezed and pulled on his cock and as I felt it start to swell he pulled me closer and put his hand on my ass cheek. I had shorts and no underwear and had opened them as I entered so I quickly was naked from the waist down. He was almost erect now so I slid down and teased his belly and crotch with my face and mouth and it got quiet as I gently teased him with my lips and tongue. I was there less than five minutes and he had his cock in me hard and deep. We'd never met and I was a bit disappointed at first. He was my height but much heavier which I don't like. Quickly we got into it there at his front door. He was gripping my head and groaned as I choked and gasped as he pushed into me Each time he'd stop until he could tell I needed air. Soon he pulled me up and led me to his bedroom. There he proceeded to push me down and move me to different positions all the while squeezing and stroking me as he kept his hard cock either at or in my mouth or deep between my ass cheeks. I'd said I wasn't into pain but he was always aggressive with me as we had sex and the entire time he was talking dirty to me and putting me down. At times he scared me a bit and was almost too abusive. Especially when he was approaching orgasm. His grip and his thrusts were almost painful and we were completely soaked in our juices as we lay still and he softened in my mouth. I'd almost not messaged him back. I'm not into abuse. And meeting with him I wasn't sure about. He was overweight and not that attractive and I didn't like how aggressive he was either txtng or together. But after I'd gone I thought about his cock and what we'd done. His cock was a nice length and quite thick and it'd been a long time since I'd had one like his in me and even though I didn't like how aggressive he was at times I had to admit that I'd answered him cause I liked visiting a man to be used for his secret sexual needs. I liked the sex we had and after just a few days I contacted him and asked if I could come by. His wife was away for a bit the next day so I was there as soon as she left. We were naked as soon as his door shut and I let his cock slide into me as deep as he could push it. He pushed against my ass a lot this second time but I wouldn't let him put it into my asspussy. I've never been into being fucked but after the second time with him I've thought about maybe trying it sometime. I'm glad that I've finally found a man